A Loooooong Post!!!

Hi,

I guess this one is going to be the longest post for my blog... i have started writing this at 11:18 AM, May 30, 2005. I am sure i am going to take few breaks before publishing this post.

From the time i posted my last message, many things have happened. I am really glad that they happened... a good learning experience.. "At the hieghts of mount everest .... As deep as city of XYON ( Matrix .. sorry if i got the name of the city wrong ), Back on earth, Flying, Floating, Crawling, Longing and also sometime Yawning. One thing common for these days.. no sleep whatsoever ;-))))

The most striking thing that i happened to notice the past three days are i felt i was not involved in anything happening around me at all... i was just there as an observer.. at a different level of things. Felt like reading peoples actions, reactions, comments etc. It was wonderful.. yes great and at the same time not so great to know... I was actively making plans for these days, wanted to meet most of them, wanted to have fun and more importantly wanted to break free. I had not realised that i had no idea about what i wanted to break free from!

Friday.. The day when i get car to office, as i have to stay back later than the time the office cab leaves. I have to stay back as support for other teams. Morning ride was surprisingly good, not much traffic to bother about. Day was hectic.. i had made a blunder in the fix i had given previously.. due to which i had to give 2 more fixes.. very typical of me.. even tho this had happened first time at work ;-). I finished that off during the first half of the day. Rest of the day i was working with some 4-5 issues in hand. At the time i was supposed to leave, i had done all i was supposed to do.. satisfying. During all this, i somehow missed to see how heavy the rain was coming down. May be it would have helped me to watch the rain and also get drenched a little.
We were planning to go to a play at RangaShankara on friday, which got cancelled as there were not tickets available. I started from office at 7 pm. Two of my friends had missed the office and cab and there was no rik available near office. Adding to all this there was a terrible traffic jam in Bannerghatta road. Vehicles were sure to be stuck for atleast 2 hours there. I decided to leave inspite of this and even tho one of my program managers asked me due to the huge traffic pile up. I decided to drop my friends who were stuck in rain, home as well. We started behind the pile of vehicle moving ever so slowly.. may be at 2-3 kmph. Then i saw a rik take a deviation form the main road into what looked like a small side road. I decided to take a chance to escape from the traffic.. and also a little detour wouldnt be much of an harm at that time :P. We were literally lost in the darkness and had absolutely no clue where the road would lead us to. After a few rights-lefts and also a few refts and lights.. we were able find a road which looked familiar and also was tarred!!!. We joined a road which we knew and also luckily there was less traffic. We reached the JP Nagar 15th cross signal within 15-25 minutes. From there we decided we will have dinner in Jayanagar only. We picked another friend up who stays in JP Nagar. We went to Pizza hut at 9, ate, dropped everyone home and got back home at around 11.

Saturday.. I had plans of watching Star Wars - Episode III - Revenge of the Sith. The day started quite well. Left house at 9:45.. reached friends place.. from them went out for some work. Then my friend wanted to test ride a "Honda City" as he was planning to take one. We test drove the City "automatic" and also "manual" transmission cars. Cool car, cool looks, very comfortable, spacious. But lacks the zip you expect to see in a 8-9 lakhs car. But i felt the car was worth the money. After the test drives, came back to my santro again. I felt its pickup and speed were atleast comparable to that of City but faaar off in comfort, space and overall performance. By this time it was late for the movie!!!!! There was a show at 2:30, but it will finish late, as i had some more work at 4 pm, which ended up as "Nothing". After this we had lunch in "Angan" in koramangala... good place.. good food. We went to my friends place after that.. no power, no tv, no FAN!!!!!. i tried to read some novel, dozed off for 2 mins before being awakened by my friend. After that few other friends came over. We played picionary for a while. I dont enjoy the game very much... but it was good fun. After all this, it started to rain heavily... "everything" started to come down hard on us... learnt a lot... about my actions, reactions, mistakes etc etc etc.
Due to rain, reached home(Mahalakshmi layout) at 9.. a bit late.. as my uncle and aunt were waiting for me take them to Leela Palace in airport road for a party. We started from my place at 9... reached Leela at 10 pm. Party was still on. We had food, it was ok.. not great!! There was an orchestra going on as well. It was a party for the doctors arranged by a pharmaceutical company marketing a diabetes medicine. There were drinks on offer and 25% of the doctors were in the world of their own.. They were dancing to the music as tho there was no one watching.. no one around.. Being drunk is not that far from being enlightened soul i thought!!! End of day.. reached home at 11:30 or so.. totally tired. Wished my friend "Happy Birthday" at 12:15 AM, as he was sleeping till then!!! Started reading a novel and continued till 3. Couldnt sleep after that.. waiting for the clock to get to 6:00AM, to get out .. for a work.. those 3 hours.. again i learnt a lot.. again about myself...

Sunday... 6:30 AM.. got up, got ready to leave.. left at 7:15 AM. Covered 20 kms in 20 mins.. no traffic :-))). Started the day well, wished my friend by going to his place.. stayed there till 12.. as there would be no one at home till 3. After that went bowling and lunch.. After that birthday party started at 3. Had invited a lot of friends.. few turned up .. out of those few... more than few were in a hurry to leave in 10-15 mins!!!!!. Got the cake at 4... but many had already left by then. Not a prob.. we had the cake ;-))). After cake cutting and eating, it was F-1 time.. During the race, was noticing everything around even tho not observing.. not watching.. but learning.. it was good :-). End of day out at 7:30.. started and reached at 8:30... had a little confrontation at home as expected. All about me not taking care of myself even a bit.. no sleep, no rest.. My father asked me a simple question for which i didnt know a answer.. or didnt want to answer... no idea. "I have never seen any of your friend spend a whole day for you for your birthday, why so? and also this is not the first time you are doing this!". The answer would hurt me, them, would change the things around me, THAT IS IF THERE WAS AN ANSWER FOR THAT AND ALSO IF I KNEW THE ANSWER.. Nothing happened. Learning again.. :-))

"Life is what you make out of it", i have decided to make it a good one (Filled with PJ's) ;-))). In every situation, every time there is one and only thing in your control, "Yourself". The following situation, reactions, comments will solely depend on how you use your control. Your control will also decide the meanin of the actions.. You can test this.. you will react for the same situation in 2 ways, when you are thinking differently. Reactions have to be fair to yourself first and also consistent.

12:36 pm, May 30, 2005. aaahh.. it feels good to put it out.. i dunno how it feels to read.. i dont want to know....
Cya till next time.. till then i will be learning ;-))))